Jokes for the ESL Classroom

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like “you”?
A: The letter ” I “

Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter “m”.

Q: Why is the letter “T” like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter “A” help a deaf lady?
A: It can make “her” “hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
A: The letter “I”. It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter “A” and “noon” alike?
A: Both of them are in the middle of the “day”.

Q: Why is “U” the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of “fun”.

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on “you”?
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need “U”.

Q: What is the end of everything?
A: The letter “g”.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That’s impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant’s.

A: I’m in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don’t have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can’t afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don’t have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don’t have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don’t have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!


A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before!

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
A: Wet.


Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?
A: A stamp.

These need to be written.

Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.

Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.


Q: What do elephants have that no other animal has?
A: Baby elephants.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!

Q: What happens when “you” and “I” are gone?
A: Only 24 letters are left. (you=the letter “u” and I the letter “i”.)

ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence “I is …”.
Clever student: Please sir, what’s wrong with “I is a vowel”.

from http://iteslj.org/



Phrase Builder: All Levels

Oxford University Press offers Phrase Builder Activities for all levels.
Open your phrase books, get pens ready and start practicing now. You could listen to a phrase, read it, study what it means and test yourself.
Click here.

Please leave a comment for us. Was this exercise useful for you? Did you like it? What new expressions did you learn today?

Color Idioms

Color Idioms

1. Many people feared that the new millennium would cause black outs because of problems with electricity production. Black out: loss of electricity
2. What a beautiful car! I’m green with envy. Be green with envy: very, very jealous of another person’s property
3. Don’t rely on him under pressure in battle. He’s yellow. Be yellow: be a coward
4. There is so much red tape that needs to be completed before adopting a baby. Red tape: bureaucracy
5. Jack Thomas was put on Hollywood’s black list during the McArthy era. Black list: list of unwanted people
6. She was such a difficult child that her family always treated her like a black sheep. Black sheep: a minority in a small group, often considered “bad” by the majority of the group
7. Mr. Jackson is very important to the success of this program. Make sure to roll out the red carpet when he arrives. Roll out the red carpet: give the best treatment
8. We’re looking for a new home in the green belt. Green belt: the countryside around a city
9. It’s not quite as black and white as you think. Black and white: simple, clear and understandable
10. Try to cheer Susan up. She is feeling rather blue these days. Feel blue: depressed
11. I had to tell a white lie in order to get accepted into the program. White lie: small, insignificant lie
12. Jack gave me the green light on the project. Give the green light: approve a project or request
Go to http://esl.about.com/library/vocabulary/blcolor.htm to practice these idioms.

More color idioms: http://www.learn4good.com/languages/evrd_idioms/id-c.htm

Read to Your Children: Robert Munsch

Reading to your children is one of the most pleasant exercises you can do to improve your English. Today I would like to introduce you to an amazing Canadian kids author (loved by American children, too!) Robert Munsch. His stories are hilarious and educational at the same time. You can get his books at any local library or bookstore. The best part for an ESL student: he recorded his stories and posted them on his webpage. You can practice your listening skills, pronunciation, grammar, and reading at the same time. And you can also help your children write him a letter and practice writing skills! Your children wouldn’t even know that you are doing exercises.
Enjoy!
Robert Munsch official webpage
Listen to his books (pick a book on the left and drag it into “listen” position).
Don’t forget to write which book you and your child/children liked the best. My absolute favorite is Stephanie’s Ponytail. Can’t wait to hear if you liked Robert Munsch. Post a comment:)

Irregular Nouns

All ESL students should know irregular nouns.
The most important irregular nouns are:
Man-men
Woman-women
Child-children
Foot-feet

e.g. She is a nice woman (singular). There are five women (plural) in my class.

Click here to read about irregular nouns.

Complete List and quiz for Advanced Level Students.

Another List for your reading pleasure.

Exercise 1 for Intermediate Level Students
Exercise 2
Exercise 3
Exercise 4

Happy Independence Day!

Isn’t it great to have a long weekend to celebrate the Independence Day?
Do you want to know about this wonderful holiday? Click on this link http://www.elcivics.com/esl_fourth_of_july , Listen to an article about the Independence Day.
Do an Independence Day Vocabulary exercise, Take a Quiz with Answers
Print a Worksheet with Answers
Watch a Video for ESL students
And don’t forget to relax and come back to class rested.
Happy Independence Day!

28+ ESL videos onto Youtube from Marissa

Wake Tech’s Instructor Marissa uploaded 28+ ESL videos onto Youtube.
You can watch them on a big screen by clicking on the big screen button right under the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_S-1BcmIBg&feature=channel
Anyone interested can download these videos using the YouTube Downloader software.
This is a free and safe software from the following website:
http://download.cnet.com/YouTube-Downloader/3000-2071_4-10647340.html

If you want to access all of Marissa’s videos, just type “maschiffm” into the search box on YouTube.